Forbes
Ann Shoket Says: 'Forget Finding Your Passion! Find Your Meaning'
By: Ann Shoket
We have moved beyond the idea of “having it all.” Whatever that means. I’m sure you can relate. If you are like many women on the rise today, you want to define success on your own terms. You have no interest in climbing that dusty old corporate ladder, even if it leads to a corner office with a killer view and a collection of Louboutins in a massive closet—that’s not what’s important to you. You want to forge your own path. You have a side hustle that you’re hoping will turn into the next big thing, and give-back projects that matter to you. You want a career born from your passions.
But “finding your passion” feels like such a high bar, doesn’t it? The message the world is sending is that if you can’t find your passion or your purpose, then you’re lost. But I see things differently. For me, it all starts and ends with the meaning. Ask yourself what means the most to you, and that’s where you’ll find the core of (what I call) your "Big Life."
We all want to do something that matters for ourselves, for someone else and for the world. It has been my greatest honor to create work that has been meaningful in the lives of young women. My mission is to make you feel smarter, stronger and most importantly, validated.
But I didn’t know that was my mission when I started in my career. I didn’t even exactly know what would be meaningful to me. I started doing what I was good at—writing and asking nosy questions! It was a great foundation to be a reporter. But I was three jobs into my career before I joined the launch team of CosmoGIRL, and that’s where I realized how meaningful it was to me to talk to young women about growing into who you’re meant to be. I got emails from young women who said the work I was doing had impacted their lives, changed their thinking, opened up possibilities.
I still get those emails and that’s what keeps me energized and looking for new ways to have those conversations.
Your meaning doesn’t necessarily have to be weighty and serious. Fun is meaningful; adventure is meaningful. And the beautiful thing is that meaning can be expressed in any way: running your own tech company, saving a corner of the world at a nonprofit you founded, writing a novel, writing code, raising a family or running marathons.
So how do you find your meaning? (After all, it doesn’t come looking for you!)
Say yes to everything! Reach projects, task-forces, give-backs…You never know what might light a spark.
Lean on your Squad. Surround yourself with women who see the world the way you do and who are devoted to helping each other succeed. They will continue to inspire you and their ambition will push you to reach further and dig deeper.
Get a Side-Hustle. The idea that one job can be your everything feels so dated, doesn’t it? Sometimes you need a day job that pays the bills or gives you security, even if it doesn’t feed your soul. That’s when you need a side-hustle—a project you work on to put yourself in charge or build new skills in your career. This is how you pay yourself in self-respect.
Whether you’re the woman who has known what she’s wanted to do since sixth grade or you’re still trying to piece it all together and stay open to every possibility imaginable. The meaning is your North Star, and if you follow it, you’ll go somewhere big. Having a "Big Life" isn’t about ticking off a list of goals—or some elusive someday when you’ve hit a bunch of external life markers. There’s no need to wait for the job or the guy to feel supremely satisfied. There’s no magical moment when you suddenly sit back and start enjoying it all. You want to enjoy it all starting now.
Ann Shoket is the author of The Big Life: Embrace the Mess, Work Your Side Hustle, Find a Monumental Relationship and Become the Badass Babe You’re Meant to Be and Editor-in-Chief of Seventeen from 2007-20014. She has appeared regularly on "Good Morning America," "Today," "The Oprah Winfrey Show," "The View," "CNN," "Access Hollywood," and "E! News," and she was a guest judge for four seasons on "America’s Next Top Model." Forbes has named her one of the “Most Powerful Fashion Magazine Editors” in the country.
