Forbes
Rethink Your Relationships: Serve, Don't Sell
By: Bruce Kasanoff
Last week, a client of mine went to three very different events in Texas, Florida and New York. One was with people in the trucking industry, another with top minds in the legal industry and a third was with hard-charging entrepreneurs.
He told me, "Everyone was talking about the same thing. People."
Even at the "technology" event, he said, the focus was on people.
This is a critical insight if you want to advance your career.
Too many professionals move through life trying to sell something:
I want a job
I want a better job
I want you to buy my product
I want you to buy even more of my product
I want you to pay me more because, well, I want more
No one likes to be sold. No one wants to be a bank or funding source for what you want. No one wants to help in your job search and then have you forget them.
But...
People do want connection. We want to find others whom we like and respect, and who feel the same way about us.
For example, if you are trying to "network your way" into a job at a leading company, are you genuinely interested in building relationships with the people you meet along the way? In many cases, job candidates treat such new connections as little more than stepping stones to what they want (i.e., a better job and more money).
This is no way to run a career.
Two-thirds or more of the business posts I see on social media can be summarized in one word: Me.
They are all about the person or company that shared the post: what they are selling, what they want, what they did.
(Yawn. Pause. Where's the unfollow button?)
I'd like to propose a better path through your career.
Everything you share on social media and every time you reach out to others should offer a benefit to whomever is on the receiving end.
What does this mean? Imagine that you are delivering a webinar in Chicago, and you share this news via social media. Don't just say, "Come to my seminar." There are a ton of people who don't live in Chicago or will be busy that day, so they can't come. Instead, offer a lesson related to your seminar, and then say, "By the way, if you're going to be in Chicago next Tuesday, I'll be talking about this and related lessons."
Thus, members of your network benefit even if they can't do what you want them to do.
"Serve, don't sell" is a simple philosophy that you can memorize by the end of this article, but it takes years to deeply integrate it into your career and life. Every single day, you encounter opportunities to serve others. The more of these opportunities you embrace, the more you will build and nurture true human connections. No single one of these good deeds may result in more money or a new job for you. But collectively, they will lead to a rich and rewarding career.
"Serve, don't sell" also works for employee engagement. It works for customer engagement. It works to power revenue growth. It works with anything and everything that includes people.
Using your unique talent and expertise in a genuine effort to help others is by far the fastest way to strengthen your relationships—and cultivate valuable new ones.
One last point: the harsher and more strident our world becomes, the more welcome it is to come across a person who is genuinely interested in helping others. Let that person be you.
